Raising Children

I am having a really hard time reconciling in my head what it would be like to ‘just’ be a mom and wife. To not have a career. To not have a nanny or take kids to daycare. To make play dough and have dinner ready when daddy gets home. To teach my kids math and how to read and to have a routine and go for walks and collect butterflies and put little people in time out and stay up in the night nursing….

I guess I feel that because I ‘could’ do so many things, that ‘just’ being a mom & wife would be like quitting. Giving up. Yes, I absolutely see the value in staying home and raising ones own children. I guess I just don’t feel that those around me, especially in my Northern VA, DC area, validate the importance.

Why do I feel that I even need that validation? That I need those around me to see the value of raising my own children. That it IS a full time job that requires more patience and grace than one can muster. That it is a HARD job. That it is the most selfless job out there.

I am dying to hear from some mom’s who raise their children. Who make their own bubbles and go to the petting zoo. Who would have an ‘easier’ time dropping kids off at daycare but would rather get up and make pancakes and teach little humans about choices and why the sky is blue and how they shouldn’t call people fat and why the baby isn’t ready to come out today.

How do you get to a place where you are completely content in your role as a stay at home mom?  Or do you?


7 thoughts on “Raising Children

  1. I\’m not a Mommy, but I will tell you that I absolutely think that being \’just\’ a stay-at-home Mom is absolutely the most important thing you can do for your children and it\’s truly so invaluable. I\’m proud of the women who choose to stay home and have the ability to do so. Not everyone has the ability to do that, so I see it as a true blessing. We live in a world and a culture of ME and the fact that you choose to lay your life down to raise your child(ren) is truly an act of service and I\’m proud of you for your desire to be obedient in this way. It\’s obviously not something that each Mom can do, but for those who can, I think they definitely should.

    Even as career oriented as I am now… I can\’t say enough how important it is to me to be able to stay and raise my own kids when I have them. I literally can\’t think of a job that will ever be as important as that one. So, while you might be somewhat of a minority here, I think you\’re doing it right!

  2. Hey friend. I think your life has always been one that doesn’t look like the ones around you. I believe God has made you that way…I guess you could make the argument that everyones’ lives are completely different than everyone else’. All that to say, I KNOW that even though you are doing something that the world around you may not understand, you are going to do it completely different than ANY OTHER mom at home. Your track record is of one who accomplishes more than she ever thought she could, dreams BIG and sees even bigger dreams come true (please reference Gabrielle- Dreams Can Come True circa 1995). I love you. You are going to break the mold on any stay at home mommy. I know it 🙂

  3. While I am also not a mom yet, I completely understand how you feel about the northern VA/DC area. It/people do undervalue how hard stay at home parents do work and contribute to the education and upbringing of our next generation. Whether it is justified or not, the expense of living and career oriented atmosphere contribute to this environment. Where you begin a conversation with a stranger by asking what they do/where they work. That said, my cousin-in-law left a partnership-track career at a civil engineering firm in the area to stay home with her then 2 year old and has not regretted the decision one bit.

  4. I applaud your decision to stay home, and I stand and applaud your drive to fight through your desires and questions and get it right. I went home full-time 14 years ago, not knowing how long I would be away from the workforce. Each time I have attempted to return so far, it has been abundantly clear that now is not the time. It’s been my privilege to tell my children the reasons why to all of their questions through the years, and to be the one who gets to witness the slow, incremental growth of some amazing people. My three children are well adjusted teenagers who love each other and plan to someday raise their own children in similar fashion. My oldest nannies our neighbors, and finds herself ‘being the mom’, placing her own values and ideas on these children but wishing their own mom could do it for them. I encourage you to keep up the fight, figure out why this is important to you and do it well.

  5. I’ve been a stay at home mom for 6 yrs. My oldest is 6 and youngest is 4. Staying home with them was a great decision for our family. It is definitely HARD WORK! I don’t get sick leave. I don’t get vacation days. I don’t get to come home from work to relax. Even when I’m asleep, I’m on call. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I think the key to it is to not become ‘just’ a stay at home mom. Continue to do the things you enjoy doing. I HAVE to make time for myself. Another thing is to not care what others think. They feel they’re doing what’s best for their family, you do what’s best for yours. I joined a moms group called mocha moms and it helped me out tremendously! Being around other stay at home moms gives you a support system especially if it’s not the norm in your area. Just pray that God will show you where you need to be and that you will be at peace with whatever that may be. Be encouraged!

  6. “Just” a stay-at-home mom?! Oh, I think not!!!! You are responsible for growing future adults…..people who will have the capacity to make a difference in every life they touch. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 Training up children is vitally important in those early years. Who better to do that than you? (and your fabulous husband!) I know you see the evidence all the time. Just compare the behavior of most 4 year olds with yours.

    Remember that the time you have your babies with you is SO short. I know sometimes when you’re in the middle of it all……..sleepless nights, runny noses, spilled drinks, all the bodily functions, endless questions…..it seems like you’ll never have a “life of your own” again. Well, you won’t….ever….have a life of your own again!!!! But that’s the GOOD news!!!! When you train up your children in the way they should go, your amazing children will always be just a phone call away (a cell phone that they purchased, not a jail phone that they get to use once a week!) They will always be there with an “I love you, mom”………will always be there to make you laugh (and/or make you cry)……will always be there for their siblings (and what a blessing to have children who grow up and actually love (and like) each other. And……..you will eventually be able to genuinely call them your friend.

    Bre, you can do all this AND still do those things you love. Keep your priorities straight…..Faith, Family, and Football…..I mean Fashion! 🙂

    I love you! Mom to three of the most amazing grown kids on the planet….Bre, Nate and Jon

  7. Hi Bre,
    I don’t know you and I just stumbled upon your blog through instagram of all places (we have some mutual friends!). I was looking through your posts and saw this one. I am technically a stay at home mom, although a few years ago I had to start doing something just because we needed a few extra hundred dollars a month…that turned into a photography business that took off and I found myself working more and more. Last year I was away so often that I never had meals ready, I was stressed all day at home with my kids THINKING about working and I was sleep deprived because I literally could only get a few hours of sleep a night in order to edit everything. This year (after a growing relationship with God) I realized that my children won’t be the ages they are now, next year. There will always be time for a career, but God put me in the role of mom and wife and I need to live up to that role. It’s a HUGE blessing to be able to stay at home with your children. No one loves them like you do and will care for them like you do. Plus it just goes by so dang quickly! There will always be the battle of the working mom vs. the stay at home mom, but try not to let what other’s think affect you (it’s hard, I know!). I have to say that the closer my daily walk with Jesus is, the more fulfilled I feel in my role as wife and mother. I’m glad I found your blog- you have the cutest style, you make pregnant look way good! 🙂

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