White didn’t do me right.
So, I went to Asia.
I married the greatest man that I have ever met. He is unreal. He is so patient and gracious and he loves me with a ridiculously amazing love. Okay. This post is not about how great he is. It is about all the things that folk didn’t tell me when I married a Chang.
Dear non-Asian women~
#1. Your Asian man WILL be smarter than you. Hey. Chill out. I don’t mean street smart. I am talking about book smart. As a 2yr old, he was more than likely whipped with bamboo if he couldn’t read or write. Have you seen how their language written (in my case, I am talking about Chinese)? Yeah, I am talking about the sideways fish and upside down houses, well, turns out those actually mean words. The language is ridiculously hard and he had to learn it all before he was weaned. He also knows about Ming Dynasty’s and Emperors and he probably knows about countries that YOU didn’t even know existed. He is book smart. Don’t challenge him in this area.
#2. His definition of popsicle flavor is NOT at all a real or tasty popsicle flavor. Red Bean, Green Tea, Taro & Mung Bean are what he thinks a delicious popsicle should be. Don’t fall for it! Strawberry, Vanilla & Grape are popsicle flavors. Consider yourself warned.
#3. Okay. They don’t use sheets. SHEETS! I am talking about that flat sheet, not the fitted. Yes. They use fitted sheet + comforter. That’s all. It is so wrong. Oh, and if you put a flat sheet on the bed, I promise, it will end up on the floor in a little ball. It is way too difficult for them to figure out. Like I said in point #1. They are book smart. The sheet is just too much.
#4. You will find little panda’s and hello kitty things here are there. It just comes with the territory. It’s kinda cute.
#5. This one is only for Chinese speaking Asian men. When you hear them talkin in their native tongue and you hear what sounds like, “Nigga”, don’t be offended (especially if you are brown). They are actually saying “Nugga” and it is their equivalent of ‘Umm’ in English. Yeah, it sounds really bad and I bet Asian folk are getting busted up all over the US by black folk but that is not what they are saying.
That is all for now. Thanks for tuning in.