- Flexible – This is the ideal. Similar to selective rigid boundaries but the person has more control. The person decides what to let in and what to keep out, are resistant to emotional contagion, manipulation and are difficult to exploit.
thanks to wikipedia. there are 4 types of personal boundaries. soft.spongy.rigid. flexible. the first 3 are not the best.
Another sleepless night. So much is going on in this noggin of mine. Things just never go according to “plan”. My plan. The Lord reminded me of the word BOUNDaries while I lay awake last nite. I wanted to write it all down then but I was just too tired to get up. This past year or so for me has really been about learning what that word means. I have learned that boundaries are not something that you put on someone else. They are for you. For me. They are a choice and they demand an action. Boundaries are beautiful. They are like a promise. The word doesn’t look so freeing. I mean-the first half of the word is BOUND. Its like the terms submission is reference to a wife of her husband. It sounds so limiting. But its quite the opposite. Boundaries say: you can talk like that but I will not listen, you can make a mess but Im not going to clean it up, you can come home drunk but I will not be here, you can try to put me down but I am staying up. Its hard at first. You have to make them known.
Being bound and having boundaries are quite different. My heart has been bound for so long. My heart has been abused. My story is one of freedom. Freedom with boundaries. I am learning a new set of boundaries. I am LEARNING. I don’t know this new set yet. I don’t know how this works. I am in a difficult yet so beautiful season of life right now. I feel like I am in a waiting place. Like an airport. Flight is canceled. Its not suppose to be. Don’t know when the next flight will take off. Just waiting. I love the artist from Kansas City by the name of Laura Hackett. (get it on itunes) Her songs are raw and real and beautiful and sad and hopeful. Raw.Real.Beautiful.Sad.Hopeful. There is a song on her newest album and I think its called “There’s a gap” it goes:
“What’ll I do here in the waiting. What’ll I do with my unsatisfied heart. What’ll I do here in the waiting. In the tension of believing again and again and again. “
I love that. The tension is real. The question is real. What’ll I do Lord? I am waiting. I keep believing. The Lord has not once let me down. People have. Lots and lots of people have. That is okay. I am sure I have let some of you down too.
I am reading this book called,”A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Donald Miller. I am seeing things different. My thoughts are different. The end of chapter 12 made me cry. Here is goes:
“…that we were designed to live THROUGH something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. THE POINT OF THE STORY IS THE CHARACTER ARC, THE CHANGE” hello!!
can i get an AMEN?! I am being changed. So back to boundaries. I will write them down. I will tell a friend. I will have accountability. I will not facebook chat at 1am. I will sleep. Maybe I will facebook chat at 1. Gotta think about that one. I will trust that the Lord knows what’s up and that HE is bigger than the problem. That HE knows my heart. He created it. He loves me. done.